I also have black eyebrows! I tried this product to lighten since i have lighter hair and it didn't do much, even in the lightest shade. I found the Anastasia brow gel for $8 on Ebay and got that instead! Totally different color change!
Yes you can use a lighter shade be sure to not pick a shade to ash coloured so it doesn't look like you left foundation on your brows!
Essence is a great one and affordable to try multiple shades to find the right one for you
Well to make your brows look light you can't use a lighter color of brow products because either it won't show up or it will look like you have spotted brows. If you really want to then you can bleach/ color your brows with dyes or conceal your brows with glue or concealer and draw them on from scratch or shave them off and draw them on from scratch. Hope this helped.